When compared to other methods of therapy (psychoanalysis,
cognitive, behavioural, etc), EMDR has been rated as far more effective by mental
health professionals. Clients experience emotional healing at an accelerated
rate.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic technique that utilizes a characteristic motion of the eyes in conjunction with therapeutic guidance to bring about emotional healing at an accelerated rate. Although not part of the original EMDR, clinical experiences have repeatedly demonstrated that EMDR also helps accelerate the physical healing process.
How effective is EMDR?
When an upset is experienced, it can become locked in the
nervous system with the original picture, sounds, thoughts, feelings, and body
sensations. This upset or trauma is stored in the brain (and also the body) in
an isolated memory network preventing learning from taking place. Old material
just keeps getting triggered over & over again and you end up feeling
“stuck” emotionally. In another part of your brain, in a separate network, is
most of the information you need to resolve the upset. It’s just prevented from
linking up to the old stuff. Once processing starts with EMDR, the 2 networks
can link up. New information can then come to mind to resolve the old problems.
How does EMDR treatment work?
If someone has experienced an upsetting situation that
they have not recovered from then they may have one or more of the
following symptoms in varying degrees: feeling “stuck”, excess stress/tension,
depression, anxiety, restlessness, sleep trouble, fatigue, appetite
disturbances, and ongoing physical health concerns despite treatment. In the
more severe cases: panic attacks, flashbacks, nightmares, obsessions, paranoia,
compulsions, eating disorders, and suicidal tendencies. On the physical health
front, EMDR is also a wonderful technique to assist with the healing of any
physical health concern.
Who can benefit from EMDR?
EMDR has been used by trained mental health professionals
since 1989. Its originator, Francine Shapiro PhD, discovered that moving her
eyes in certain directions reduced emotional tension. Francine did further
investigation, integrating her clinical experience and created EMDR. This is a helpful technique for people who have an emotional issue that seems hard to recover from and where they may feel “emotionally stuck”.
What happens during an EMDR session?
EMDR is used with the help of a psychologist specially trained to do EMDR. There are 3 main techniques that they can use to activate the EMDR to start working. Either you can use headphones to listen to special music that the psychologist provides, you can do tapping hand movements, or you can follow an object back and forth in front of your eyes. Most people chose the music option.
You don’t need to talk much during an EMDR session, or know much about the thing that is upsetting you. It is useful to talk about it briefly at various intervals during the session but these are only brief comments now and then. Your own subconscious processes will guide your mind to go to the place that will help you so just sit comfortably and allow your brain to go where it wants to go.
You stay awake the whole time and remember everything that happens. People often finish EMDR therapy feeling empowered by the very experiences that once caused them problems. Your emotional wounds have not just closed, they have transformed. For some issues, one session is enough, if the issue is complex or occurred for a long time then more than one session might be needed. As a natural outcome of the EMDR therapeutic process, the clients’ thoughts, feelings and behavior are all indicators of emotional health and resolution—all without speaking in detail.
How can I find a psychologist who does EMDR?
Psychologist do special training to be able to do EMDR sessions. Either they will list this as one of their skills on their website or you can contact them and ask if they are trained in EMDR. At Better Health Psychology, our psychologist Jenny Jones is trained in EMDR and practices this in her client sessions every week.
APA Reference
Hammond, C. (2020). The Consequences of Narcissistic Parenting. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 14, 2020, from https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman/2020/07/the-consequences-of-narcissistic-parenting/
Ideally, a child is given the freedom to explore and express their individuality so they can develop into a confident and well-balanced adult. This nurturing environment prioritizes the needs of the child over the parent without overindulgence. But this is not the case when one parent is a narcissist.
Most children are unaware of their dysfunctional narcissistic parent as they naturally accept the parent’s false perception of reality. However, when critical thinking kicks in combined with the increased influence of peer relationships around age twelve, things begin to change. A parent with healthy practices views this process as a natural progression of becoming an adult, but a narcissistic parent views the transformation as threatening.
As a result, the narcissistic parent will either withdraw completely or they attempt to control the teen through degradation or humiliation. But this is just the start. When the teen becomes an adult, the years of narcissistic parenting reveal far more devastating consequences. Using the symptoms of a narcissist as the starting point, here are the results of dysfunctional parenting:
Grandiosity breeds criticalness. A narcissistic parent (NP) magnifies their accomplishments to the point the child believes they are super-human. The child desperately tries to live up to the image of the NP. However, whenever they manage to come close, the NP raises the bar again to keep it just out of reach of the child. Internally, the child becomes overly critical of their actions, believing they need to be perfect. When they can’t reach perfectionism they shut down entirely and engage in self-harming behaviors.
Idealism breeds despair.NPS create their own fantasy world where they are all-powerful, successful, brilliant, or beautiful. Children of narcissists are expected to be physical extensions of the NP. So, if the child is intelligent, the NP takes the credit. When the child achieves a reward, it is as if the NP got it instead. Since no success is solely at the hands of the child, they lose hope that their accomplishments matter. This generates feelings of despair and despondency.
Superiority breeds inferiority. For an NP, being average is as bad as below average. Since narcissists believe they are superior and can only associate with other superior people, their children by extension must also be exceptional. This pressure is overwhelming to a child who may realize they are not extraordinary in everything they do. As a result, this unrealistic expectation set by the NP generates feelings of inferiority in the child. “I can never be good enough,” is a common thought of the child.
Attention-seeking breeds anxiety. A narcissist needs daily feeding of attention, affection, affirmation, or admiration. When the child is small, they learn that the quickest way to get their needs met is to fill these needs of the NP first. This is behavioral conditioning at its finest. However, anxiety in the child manifests as they constantly try to anticipate and meet the needs of the NP to prevent an emotion explosion or backlash.
Entitlement breeds shame. By nature of being a parent, the NP expects the child to go along with whatever the NP wants. The wants or desires of the child are constantly overshadowed or belittled by the NP. This generates feelings of shame in the child as they begin to invalidate their own likes and dislikes in favor of the NP. Consequently, the child becomes a shell believing their uniqueness and individuality are shameful.
Selfishness breeds mistrust. In the pursuit of self-preservation, the NP will justify taking advantage of others, including their own children. The child’s self-centered behaviors are met with swift and severe punishment despite the NP’s consistent modeling of the same. The NP abuses their parental role by diverting attention from the NP’s selfishness and instead highlights the deficiencies of the child. This propagates mistrust in the child as they ascertain the NP to be an unsafe and untrustworthy person.
Indifference breeds over responsibility. Even when the child is excitedly talking about a new adventure, the NP will tune them out or divert the conversation to make it about the NP. Worse yet, when the child is in pain, either emotional or physical, there is no empathy or understanding. Sadly, the child doesn’t see this as a problem of the NP; rather the child assumes the responsibility that, somehow, they were in the wrong. The result is an internal nagging of needing to take responsibility for the flaws or faults of others.
Materialism breeds dissatisfaction. Narcissists use material possessions as a way of elevating themselves over others and controlling behavior. For instance, an NP will use gifting as a way of demanding performance from the child. If the child does what is expected, they get elaborate and expensive gifts. But if the child does not live up to expectations, they might not get a gift at all. The use of material objects in this manner steels the joy of item as the child is in constant fear that the gift will be revoked for lack of performance.
Arrogance breeds inauthenticity. While the NP puts on a show of snootiness to everyone outside of the home, those inside, especially children, see the deep-rooted insecurity that lies beneath the façade. However, if the child dares to expose the insecurity, they are swiftly gaslighted as the NP makes the child look crazy. This teaches the child never to reveal their own uncertainties resulting in a lack of genuineness.
Fortunately, these childhood patterns can be reversed through an understanding of narcissism, awareness of false truths, and a more accurate perception of reality. Counseling is extremely beneficial and necessary in exposing and eradicating the lies of narcissistic parenting.